a week in gay music
otherwise known as a week in my life
Happy lesbian visibility week! I love lesbians1 and I love their contributions to the media. I genuinely don’t know where I’d be without them (especially MUNA).
Anyway, there is a lot I have to say about a lot. I am reworking the essay I wanted to send out last week because the more I thought about it, the more my own opinions changed so I have to shift direction. I want to say I’m not afraid of losing momentum, but that isn’t true. I am more afraid of sending something out that I’m not proud of.
Also, I myself am overwhelmed by the constant influx of bi-weekly, weekly and twice-weekly newsletters, and I don’t want to contribute to that overwhelm for other people. Some people have a consistent and frequent schedule, but that’s not going to be me, at least not for now.
In the meantime, I have some thoughts on some things in the (gay) media!
First up–Jojo Siwa. You might be thinking, why the hell is she talking about Jojo Siwa? But if you think about it, this actually is on brand for me because what I have to say is all a critique of the media coverage on her time in the Big Brother UK house. (I use interchangeable pronouns for Jojo here–they’ve said they go by any pronouns.)
Where is the nuance in talking about Jojo Siwa in the media lately? Granted, the majority of discourse I’ve seen about her time on Big Brother UK is on Daily Mail and on Twitter dot com, which has gone to hell in a handbasket especially in terms of bad opinions and takes. But the level of hatred a 21-year old who grew up on TV and never had the true chance to be themself without eyes on them, advertiser expectations, fan expectations, etc. is receiving from the media is actually baffling to me.
I know it’s been funny to make fun of cringe comments Jojo has made in the past, like creating gay pop, but I’m not getting why a media hate train on a child star has been allowed to take off so vehemently. How quickly we forget! And not just about mistreatment of child stars in general, but about how Jojo was very recently being harassed by their former housemate, Mickey Rourke, and how people were coming to Jojo’s defense and empathizing with them.
I too, first thought it was sweet that Chris Hughes from Season 2 of Love Island was standing up for Jojo and offering a safe space for them to get their feelings out, but as days went on and they grew closer, I started to question his motives. As their friendship turned flirty, while everyone was being scandalized about how Jojo is supposed to be a lesbian, I was scandalized that Chris was pushing the boundaries of their relationship, especially as a 32-year old. JoJo is a baby compared to him! As a fellow 32-year old, the idea of pursuing a 21-year old makes me feel sick. As the adult in this situation, it’s on him to stop things from going into inappropriate territory, but that hasn’t seemed like a priority to him, which makes me feel icky.
I am shocked at the lack of nuance in discussions about Jojo, their sexuality, and this blossoming…relationship? From my perspective, and this is as someone who hasn’t been watching the show (I don’t know that I even can from the US?), I have perceived Jojo as being confused in their feelings towards Chris because he’s been protective and gained her trust and was there for them in a vulnerable time. I could see how someone, especially a young person with limited life experience, might confuse safety and compassion for romantic feelings, especially if they aren’t used to feeling that kind of safety in love, which I imagine could be true for a kid who grew up on TV.
A lot of it is the media spinning things, as Jojo saying they feel more comfortable using the term queer instead of lesbian is not an admission of feelings for Chris or romantic attraction to men in general, but just a more fitting term for their expression of their sexuality. I imagine this would also make more sense to Jojo as they navigate their gender expression as well. Non-binary lesbians definitely exist, but if Jojo doesn’t feel like that term suits them, that’s absolutely fine!
As an avid Love Island UK fan, I am also critical of that show and its various iterations, specifically of the men that appear on it. Misogyny runs rampant in those villas and the men are all part of a boys club that prioritizes their relationships with each other over their relationships with the women they came to pursue. It’s the biggest flaw in the show, in my opinion–I otherwise really like the show, though I liked it a lot less in recent UK seasons because they’ve become too over-produced. Joey Essex absolutely ruined the last season for me. That all being said, a man who is known for being on Love Island being a predatory creep on another reality show is not at all surprising to me, and the media not holding him accountable: also not surprising. Still disappointing.
Moving on: some good new music out this week! Sunflower Bean dropped a new album, Mortal Primetime. It has a cool, kinda 70s and 80s sound–reminds me of MGMT’s Little Dark Age album.
I first heard of them when I saw Blondshell (my fav) at Baby’s All Right in the summer, my third time seeing her and first time seeing her as a headliner. Momma also opened the show, and now all three acts have just released or are about to release a new album (Blondshell’s second album comes out next week, yay!). That show had a seriously good bill with three acts who don’t exactly sound similar but have something in common: they manage to evoke sounds from favorite bands of the 70s, 80s, 90s and early 2000s across different subgenres while still sounding fresh and original.
I found this interview Sunflower Bean did with Dork Magazine really enlightening, especially one bit about how it’s easier than ever to take a DIY approach to making music (they self-produced this album) and how expensive it was in the 70s and 80s to get into the studio and record something. I often find myself in an opposite mindset, thinking about how in the 70s and 80s it was easier to make art because you could actually afford to live in NYC and there were wealthy benefactors ready to invest in you (and you weren’t responsible for being your own publicist and social media manager). I read Just Kids by Patti Smith during a formative period in my life and it shaped how I look at art and NYC, making me romanticize her cheap rent and ability to subsist off of hope and watery Nescafé.
I also have been listening to Julien Baker and Torres’ Send a Prayer My Way a lot, a record full of great songs and beautiful harmonies. I have a review coming out on Rainbow Rodeo soon, which reminds me that I never shared the link to my Katie Gavin album review here when it came out.
Speaking of Katie Gavin, I got to see her on Wednesday at Radio City Music Hall, opening for Lucy Dacus. It was a beautiful show, complete with a surprise Hozier appearance that sent the crowd into such a frenzy that the entire venue was vibrating (although I must admit I don’t care about him, sorry!) and a surprise Katie cover of Addison Rae’s “Headphones On2,” which is a fucking bop.
Listening to Lucy perform music off of her new album, Forever Is A Feeling, I was struck by the similarities in the lyrical content and themes explored on her record and Julien and Torres’s new record. Shame and guilt inspired by their religious upbringings, finding their own faith, and falling in love. I couldn’t help but think that Lucy and Julien are very lucky to have each other. If their music is any indication, they must really get each other. I also couldn’t help but think that I too would write beautiful love songs about Julien Baker if they were my partner. I was lucky enough to be present when Lucy debuted “Best Guess” live in a surprise opening set at a Julien Baker show in September, which I immediately thought was one of the most beautiful love songs I’d ever heard.3
I had the same thought about Naomi McPherson when listening to Katie perform her unreleased song “She Gives Me Feelings4.” Like yeah, I would never get over Naomi, either. Also I laughed at the unintentional drag in this Lucy and Katie interview where Lucy asks Katie about what her longest relationship was, and she has to admit it was her relationship with Naomi. Look, I’m not completely parasocial because I have couth, but part of loving lesbian music is getting into the lore of it all!
I also wanna talk a little about Lorde’s new single. I think it’s catchy but I thought the video was kind of weird and I also think people are overhyping it because they’re so excited for new Lorde. I have such mixed feelings about Lorde in general because I genuinely hold her as one of the most prolific songwriters of this generation, but I do think she was at her most brilliant when she was writing songs as a teenager. This is just part of my thesis that teen girls write the best songs. It’s all the big feelings and vulnerability and being so sure in your opinions and feelings, a trait that you just don’t get back as you get older and start thinking before you speak! A long time ago, I started a playlist concerning this thesis that I need to flesh out, but it contains “Talia” by King Princess and “Tennis Court” by Lorde. It could honestly contain every song off of Pure Heroine and Melodrama.
Fun fact: one day last summer, when I was leaving Cubbyhole to go to Hens5, I walked past a man and woman dining al fresco and was taken by how enamored the man looked with the woman across from him, like he was hanging on her every word and fascinated by her. Whoever he’s sitting across from must be really special, I thought, and poked my head around when I walked past them to get a peek. That’s when I realized he was dining with Lorde. The man in question was the producer she’s been working on this new album with, Jim-E Stack. For the record, I don’t think they’re secretly dating,6 I think he was just impressed with her because she’s impressive.
Well, that’s all for now! Thanks for sticking around. Hopefully my next essay gives you something to chew on and debate with me about.
Btw I am gay, single, and not afraid to use this thing as a dating app.
Katie said, “Gotta show love to the new art girl in town!” I know that’s right!
Phoebe now remains the only boygenius member I’ve never seen solo, and I hope that happens for me someday. Kinda crazy she hasn’t released a solo album since 2020.
Naomi uses they/them pronouns but Katie wrote this song years ago before they came out as nonbinary and switched pronouns. She has made jokes/commented on the pronoun change in performances of this song before.
GAAAAAAAAAYYYY
Then again, there is the Jack Antonoff of it all, and if history repeats itself… he is really cute, so it would be an upgrade. Then again, I am of the hivemind opinion that Lorde has been hinting at being a lesbian.